Friday, July 24, 2009

Blog #3, Kinoki Foot Pads

I was in the Wal-Mart getting some merchandise, and I saw a display for Kinoki Foot Pads. The box was eye catching, so I picked it up. It claimed to rid the body of toxins, impurities and heavy metals. My skeptical radar began to go out because of the vague claims that it cured, but I continued to read. According to the directions, you place a pad on your foot before you sleep, and, when you wake, you will see the effectiveness of the pads by the black color (A hypothesis of why the pads turn black (besides the fact that black is a color that generally depicts negativity) is due to iodine. Iodine, when it reacts with various substances, turns black).

The black color is suppose to be the excess toxins, impurities and heavy metals that seeped through your feet into the Kinoki Pad. One of the reasons why that did not make sense to me is due to the Theory of Gravity. Wouldn’t it make more sense to place the pads on your back, stomach or side depending on which way your body touches the bed to maximizes the effectiveness of the pad and gravity? I also think that the makers of the pad are cashing in the credulity of the mass, and the magic, mysteries of the feet.

In many spas, you will see ads for reflexology. According to reflexology, there are magical energies that the feet (and hands) encompass which correspond with various parts of the human body. If you apply some amount of pressure to a certain area of the foot, it may, for example, help aid the healing process of the heart. This idea is not falsifiable; therefore, it is not scientifically or logically based.

Basically, it is up to the individual to decide on their own to buy a product; however, in my opinion, you might as well take your $9.99 that you were going to spend on a pack of Kinoki Pads, and send it my way. I am selling a brand of cleansing pads that not only remove the impurities, toxins and heavy metals of the body, but my product also helps boost the immune system, dissolves excess body fat and increases your IQ score by 17 points. All you need to do is place my innovative pad on your forearm before you go to bed. When you wake in the morning, place the pad into a envelope (don’t worry the cost of shipping and handling is included in the $9.99 value) then send it to my corporate headquarters. I will place the pad into our Quantum Measurement Chamber, and then analyze it. I will send it back to you with a complete analysis of Chambers findings, and you will see the pad will be red. Along with the complete three page analysis, the proof that the pad is red is the only evidence you need that my pads work.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Doomsday: December 21, 2012!!

Everyone stock up on water, Vienna Sausages and Spam because leagues of man-eating zombies will claw out from the Earth’s crust to eat us on December 12, 2012. There will be unprecedented flooding, massive gamma ray bursts and all of the continents will sink into the ocean to finally meet their cousin, Atlantis.

If you have not heard by now, December 12, 2012 is doomsday or end of humanity. Well, not end, or it is not even close to being the end at all. Hold on, lets get some facts in line. December 21, (or 23) 2012 is the end/reset of a long count period of the Mayan calendar. According to the Mayan’s, their calendar resets itself every 5126 years, and then they start their “long count” again. Astronomer Phil Plait said this regarding the reset:

The Mayan calendar does not end in 2012 at all, that it is like the odometer on your car, as each section of the odometer reaches 9 and then clicks over to 0, the next number to it starts a new cycle, so that when all the numbers again reach 0 all the way across the odometer - the last number will change from 1 to 2 and the new cycle starts all over again.

In fact, if you look to the past, 5126 years ago the world experienced this calendar reset, and, of course, humans (and animals) are still on this planet. Of course there will be conspiracy theorists that will say doomsday is upon us. We all know what happened about 10 years ago. The whole world jumped on the Y2K bandwagon, and, if you look back about 1009 years ago to 1000 AD, there were even people whom believed the world would end at that time as well. On both of those dates, the world did not blow up, and, as we will see in December of 2012 nothing will happen. The world will continue to spin around the sun, and Kim Jong-il will continue to threaten the U.S. with his nuclear warheads that cannot even make it across the Pacific.

PS: The only thing you need to know is the real doomsday date in 2036 when Apophis will destroy all humanity.

The Elusive Florida Skunk Ape

I was browsing the internets, and, to my dismay, I encountered a story that the Orlando Sentinel wrote about the "elusive" Florida Skunk Ape in 2004. In the article, a woman is driving, and she claims that she saw a 6 to 8 feet Skunk Ape hanging out in a ditch. She told the Sentinel:

"I noticed something in the ditch. I looked over, and I guess it noticed me. It rose up," she said explaining that the animal had been crouching when she first saw it. "Its eyes went from serious. Maybe it was getting frogs. It was focused on something," she continued. "When he saw me, he was as surprised as I was. I slowed down to almost a stop"

First of all, the is no such animal as the Florida Skunk Ape. What a ridiculous name by the way. The woman claims, in detail, that she it came from a crouching position, and that "he" was as surprised as she was. How the hell did she know that it was a he first of all? Did she check for masculinity by doing the gender test one does to a cat. Oh, wait, of course, she reported later to Tampa Tribune that it he asked her "Can you take me to the bakery? Because, I want a Cutiepie like you!"

Secondly, WTF does "Its eyes went from serious." mean? Hold on, now I understand "maybe it was getting frogs." Because we all know that a Florida Skunk Ape needs their daily recommended amount of frogs. She claims that she slowed down to almost a stop. Why the hell, if this is true (which of course it is not), would your slow your vehicle to almost a stop when you see a male 6 to 8 foot creature in a ditch sauteeing frog legs.

In closing, my main criticism is not with the credulousness of the woman claiming she saw a fictitious Skunk ape with an appetite for amphibians, but it is with the Orlando Sentinel for picking up this story. Was it a slow news day or what? I am just thinking of the reporter coming up his boss saying "okay, you are going to have to post this story. It is about a woman claiming to see a 6 ft hairy ape in a ditch eating frogs." The editor would say "No, we can't run another story about Kristie Alley again because we met our weekly quota already" Has the Orlando Sentinel lost all of its credibility. I understand the hicks of this country want to believe in UFO's, 911 conspiracy and, now, a Skunk ape, but as a newspaper that thousands of people subscribe to you need to have some integrity and a hint of skepticism.


Link to news article