Tuesday, July 21, 2009

The Elusive Florida Skunk Ape

I was browsing the internets, and, to my dismay, I encountered a story that the Orlando Sentinel wrote about the "elusive" Florida Skunk Ape in 2004. In the article, a woman is driving, and she claims that she saw a 6 to 8 feet Skunk Ape hanging out in a ditch. She told the Sentinel:

"I noticed something in the ditch. I looked over, and I guess it noticed me. It rose up," she said explaining that the animal had been crouching when she first saw it. "Its eyes went from serious. Maybe it was getting frogs. It was focused on something," she continued. "When he saw me, he was as surprised as I was. I slowed down to almost a stop"

First of all, the is no such animal as the Florida Skunk Ape. What a ridiculous name by the way. The woman claims, in detail, that she it came from a crouching position, and that "he" was as surprised as she was. How the hell did she know that it was a he first of all? Did she check for masculinity by doing the gender test one does to a cat. Oh, wait, of course, she reported later to Tampa Tribune that it he asked her "Can you take me to the bakery? Because, I want a Cutiepie like you!"

Secondly, WTF does "Its eyes went from serious." mean? Hold on, now I understand "maybe it was getting frogs." Because we all know that a Florida Skunk Ape needs their daily recommended amount of frogs. She claims that she slowed down to almost a stop. Why the hell, if this is true (which of course it is not), would your slow your vehicle to almost a stop when you see a male 6 to 8 foot creature in a ditch sauteeing frog legs.

In closing, my main criticism is not with the credulousness of the woman claiming she saw a fictitious Skunk ape with an appetite for amphibians, but it is with the Orlando Sentinel for picking up this story. Was it a slow news day or what? I am just thinking of the reporter coming up his boss saying "okay, you are going to have to post this story. It is about a woman claiming to see a 6 ft hairy ape in a ditch eating frogs." The editor would say "No, we can't run another story about Kristie Alley again because we met our weekly quota already" Has the Orlando Sentinel lost all of its credibility. I understand the hicks of this country want to believe in UFO's, 911 conspiracy and, now, a Skunk ape, but as a newspaper that thousands of people subscribe to you need to have some integrity and a hint of skepticism.


Link to news article http://www.fvza.org/prskunkape.html

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